TO THE KING OF THE DYING MANOR

A Letter to Senior *G. Than Shwe by Baydin Saya (*G is an insult) 

Greetings to you, Lord and Master of Strength, Ashin Thakin *Swun Ah Shin! (*the gang of thugs formed by his party)

                                                              Centuries from now, You will be remembered in the History of Burma as a King. You will belong to the “ G “- DYNASTY OF THE *FOURTH KINGDOM (1^st is Bagan, 2^nd is Toungoo, 3^rd is Konbaung) which was started by :

1. G. NE WIN, forever known as “*TAYOKE PYAY MIN II” (1962-88)

(* Tayoke Pyay Min I, King Nara-thiha-pate, died 1287, is the ”King who ran [Away from] the Chinese” whereas Ne Win is the King who ran [Toward] the Chinese” after the demonetization and other fiascoes of 1987, exactly 700 years later. )

2. G. SAW MAUNG, forever known as * KYAUNG SITTHAH MIN (1988-91)

(Saw Maung became Paw Kyaung, i.e., psychotic in 1991, perhaps from untreated phah-kyoh neurosyphillis. News reporters describe him pulling out his pistol threateningly and yelling at everyone that he was the reincarnation of the Great King Kyansittha of the First Empire. Kyan- has been changed to Kyaung- , spaced out)

3. G. THAN SHWE, forever known as ---- ? What royal title? (1991-pres.)

So you, *Master, how do you wish to be remembered? (*Master is the title of Fascist Japs during WW2)

                                                              If you did nothing more since June 2003, you will be remembered as the De Pair Yin Swun Ah Shin, Lord of Strength for orchestrating the massacre of 282 unarmed followers of Daw ASSK innocently traveling through that village of De Pair Yin. It was a show of incomparable force, a mob of 1,000 soldiers and convicts dressed in civilian clothes as well as monks’ robes, armed with clubs and rocks like cavemen from the Stone Age. No other King in Burma ever resorted to such extraordinary means to eliminate a rival. All the Kings of History have used only the latest weapons of their era, or nefarious stratagems but you, Sire, resorted to prehistoric ways, using only sticks and stones, relying on pure brute strength and overwhelming numbers. Therefore, you could be memorialized as the VILLAGE KING OF STONE AGE STRENGTH.

                                                              However, you have moved the Capitol from Rangoon to Pyinmana. Your Civil Servants, unfortunately, have become very Uncivil in their comments of you for making them sleep on the desks and floors of their offices, with no running water, latrines choked up with piles of stools, people having to fetch buckets of water, cooking rice with charcoal stoves in the corridors of the Ministry Offices. But because of your Powerful Stone Age Strength, they remain Civil and Servile.

                                                              Thus, you could be remembered in History as the KING OF PYINMANNA.

                                                               (After all, there IS a King of Toungoo, the 2nd Burmese Empire in the 15th century) 

Hear, O Lord Than Shwe, these words of advice! 

                                                              The People of the West, they do not know how to pronounce Burmese names correctly, and this is very natural, just as you, never having passed *college (*fact) like your stepfather King G.Ne Win, cannot pronounce English properly.

As such, they have been mispronouncing Myanmar as My-an -mar. This is because when they see the spelling Myan, they think of Ryan……

                                                              …….surely you will remember that war movie, Saving Private Ryan. No, you don’t remember? Ah, Sire, you are watching too many Chinese *kong fu movies. (*it has been reported in the news) Be careful, Sire, if you have too much kong-fu your fellow generals will ask, have you *kong-boo-lah? (*bent over as in getting ---------)

                                                              So, to get back on track, for the Western People, My-an rhymes with Lion. And that is why, since 1988, they have all been pronouncing the name of our Motherland as My-an -mar.

                                                              This, O Lord, rhymes with Lion M’ thar (corpse) and because our National Emblem has the Chinthe (Burmese Lion) our beloved Nation will be cursed with the meaning of the Lion Corpse.

                                                              I know you had no part in the renaming of Burma as Myanmar. It was all the work of Shin You Paw Kyaung, King U Saw Maung in the year 1989. Because of him, our Nation will rhyme with the ominous epithet of Lion M’ thar. Therefore, our Nation will die. It is doomed ! You already knew it was doomed and that is why you moved to Pyinmanna.

                                                              You are responsible for making Pyinmanna the Royal Capitol. But you cannot hope to reeducate the Western People, Sir! They have mispronounced China as Chi-na instead of calling it after Emperor Chin (Tsin). And they have mispronounced Siam as Si-am although it should be pronounced as S’yam, like the Shan.

                                                              So you see, with each new generation of X, Y, and Z, they will keep mispronouncing our Land as My-an-mar because your slothful My-an-mar Embassy staff across the world have done nothing to educate these Western Masses. They only know how to take the Generals’s wives on shopping tours when they go abroad, and to go pimping for your Generals and Ministers on their so-called diplomatic trips. Oh, yes, and they are also very good at extorting ten percent “tax” money (hsett kyay) from oversea Burmese workers, while begging money from foreign governments. Your ambassadors are nothing but beggars, pimps, and bullies.

                                                              And as for Pyinmanna, O Master of De Pair Yin Massacres, Pyinmanna will be mispronounced as Py-in, because English Speakers have no way of telling it should be pronounced as P’yin m’nah. It is not their fault. For them, -manna, will be pronounced as “manner” or “manor”, different spelling but same pronounciation.

                                                              Thus, your new Royal Capitol will be known throughout the world as Py-in Manor, which rhymes ominously with Dying Manner or Dying Manor. Which means your Palace will become your pallbearers assembly point for your royal funeral.

                                                              Why am I predicting you will die, Master? Because the walls and ceilings of your Palace and all your Ministries will have Chinese bugs, just like the Russians had microphone bugs in the US Embassy in Moscow, that fiasco reported in the news many years ago. The Americans stupidly allowed the Russians to build their embassy for them. This was circa 1980 or so.

                                                              You don’t believe me, Master? Why do you think they agreed to supply you with millions of dollars (loan) to build this Naypyidaw? Why do you think they wanted all the contracts to supply the electricity systems? This way, they can bug the entire Naypyidaw with microphones and secret micro television cameras to listen and see everything you do and say. Not only you, but also to spy on each of the foreign embassies now being built in Py-in Manna.

                                                              Master Than Shwe! You are a true Kyauksae - thah (Phauk thae - sah) and so really, you despise the Chinese Overlords. We know that secretly in your heart, you loathe the Chinese and in the hidden chambers of your Palace, you will curse and plot against them. Well, Master, they will hear of your secret plans and one day, when you go too far, they will destroy you and Py-in-manna Palace will truly become your Dying Manor and you will drown when ALL the Chinese line up at the Yunnan border and start to piss.

Think, Master, think of how the Thais moved their capitol from the inland Ayuddia to the port of Bangkok after the Burmese King Alaungphaya destroyed their old capitol circa  1767 which was located far inland, similar to Pyinmanna.

                                                              They made a wise move, moving to a seaport. The British also realized Mandalay was too far inland and moved the capitol to the seaport of Rangoon, like Bangkok. This ensured a better communication with the outside world. This is why the Thais have advanced ahead of Burma.

                                                              In circa 1646, after King Anaukphetlun destroyed the Pegu Kingdom, he moved the royal capital from the sea to 500 miles inland to Ava, and ever since then, the capitols have revolved only around that central region. Thus, while our Burmese kings remained isolated inland, the Thai kings, since 1767, reigned from their seaport capitol, Bangkok, and kept themselves modernized, being in daily contact with foreign ships and learning from these visitors. Thus, when the British came to India and the French to Indochina, they were savvy enough to play one off the other and avoid getting colonized, but the Burmese kings, hidden far away in Ava and Mandalay, remained ignorant of all these strategies, and thus fell prey to the British.

                                                              Everyone, O Master Than Shwe, says you are stupid and senile, isolating yourself, except for an esoteric Burmese History professor in Hawaii who is beside himself with joy because he predicted that one day the royal capitol would go back inland. How can he pat himself on his back for such a move that has costed the nation and the people millions of dollars! How can he take pride in a foolish move that resulted in Burma becoming primitively isolated since 1646 and now again in 2005?

                                                              And now, you, King of Dying Manor, do you still wish to stay on in this Py-in manna? Your engineers picked a bad ominous spot. They picked on the village of Kyet Pyay on the outskirts o f Pyinmanna.

                                                              Kyet Pyay (Chicken Run) rhymes with Wet Pyay (Pig Run) and it is a evil spot, Sire, because, one day, when the US bombs fall (you know how deep their megaton bombs can go) all of Pyinmanna will be blown up and then you and your men will have to run Kyet Pyay, Wet Pyay, Khway Pyay (Chickens running, Pigs running, Dogs running, -- all helter-skelter like Orwell’s Animal Farm in chaos)

                                                              Yes, Master, I am sad for you to predict that either your Chinese Overlords will drown you in their billion-man piss, or the US Air Force will bomb you, or the Russians will kill you with nuclear fart. What! What nuclear f-f-fart? Well, Master, the Russians had a nuclear plant in Chernobyl, 1985, that had an accidental meltdown. Russian incompetence combined with your army officers’ corruption will result in a similar meltdown of that nuclear plant they are building in Maymyo. When you were in Rangoon, Maymyo was 500 miles away, but now you are in your Dying M anor, which is only half the distance. So when the nuclear meltdown blows downwind, you will have , boohoohoo, less time to escape.

                                                              Yes, Master, we would really love to see your Dying Manner, whether it is by Chinese invading troops (you saved them a few hundred miles driving south), by American bombs (American pilots will thank you for moving out of Rangoon with its 3 million civilians), by Russian nuclear fallout winds, or at the hands of your own Uncivil Servants whom you neglected so badly in Pyinmanna. Yes, Sire, they are quite ready and eager to tear you to pieces and cook you on their charcoal stoves in the hallways of your government offices.

                                                               And now do you regret your move? You want to move back to Rangoon?

                                                              Come, now, you cannot do that. The whole world will call you Sauk yoo, damn fool, and you will go down in Burmese History as King You Paw Kyaung II. You will pay for the shameful way you treated U Saw Maung when he went crazy, by being named after his royal title, as if he was the King who raped your mother, thereby making you his bastard son, You Paw Kyaung II

                                                              Besides, you cannot go back to Rangoon now, because soon, on 6^th of June 2006, the people in Rangoon will arise in rebellion and you will be caught among the clubs and rocks, just like the De Pair Yin victims. Surely you must be afraid the people of Rangoon will club you and stone you to to a * naked bloody pulp in Karmic repayment. (*in De Pair Yin, the women were stripped naked, their long hair grabbed and their faces pounded onto the road surface by Than Shwe's thugs) Perhaps that is why you escaped to Pyinmanna in the first place. You must have been having nightmares of Rangoonians marching on your Mansion with sticks and stones by the thousand, just like in De Pair Yin. Such is poetic justice. Such is Karma.

                                                              You cannot turn back to Rangoon, and you cannot stay in Pyinmanna. So, what will you do?

                                                              The only honorable solution is to become a monk. Renounce your worldly ambitions, take your wife Kyaing Kyaing to be your kappiya who will cook and attend to your needs. She needs to get off her high horse, or rather mule, (Lah-see) and get into grips with reality.

                                                              Announce to the People that you have seen the Light, and that you have obtained Release from your worldly desires (Akyoot tayah yah) and you only wish to practice meditation……on an island off the coast of Thailand.

                                                              Your Thai brother Prince Thaksin should present you with at least one island for all the billions of dollars profit he made, pillaging our natural resources which you sold him at basement bargain prices in the past two decades. After all, he is your reincarnated brother-prince, and you are the reincarnation of a Thai prince whom the Burmese King and his invading army butchered in the burning ruins of Ayuddia in 1767. You and your Thai brothers swore in your dying breaths to wreak devilish revenge upon the Burmese and therefore you were reborn as the Burmese General who would destroy Burma. Such is Karma.

                                                              But the Burmese people have had enough. More than just enough.  Just renounce your worldly ambitions and follow the way of the Buddha. Do that, and the People will let you go…..and take the 30 top generals also as extra Kappiya attendants for you on that island. Escape -- before the People lose control. 06-06-06 is just around the corner. The Christians believe that is the mark of the Devil, 666. It will be an evil day for you, so run, G Than Shwe, because the Devil awaits for you in Hell, otherwise.

 With Baydin Cetana,

Your Baydin Saya