A MESSAGE OF GREAT REGRET

(By Than Shwe, at the time of his death)

 

Dear Peoples of Burma!

Forgive me for my deeds

Atrocious to the extreme

My fear and anger

I had for you

Could not be controlled

So I tried to control

All of you.

 

Forgive me for hating you

My lack of knowledge

And education

My shortcomings

My bad judgement

My ignorance

Made me ashamed

Of myself.

 

Aung San Suu Kyi was a thorn in my flesh

She was the one who could give you what

You good citizens deserve

She was everything I was not

She had everything I lacked

Everyone loved her

But everyone hated me!

 

Those of you who knew

What was good and what was bad

Those of you who were innocent

And full of joy and caring

How I despised you all!

 

I wanted you all to suffer

Because of my own suffering

Yes, I made you suffer

As much as I could

All of you who were weaker than I!

 

The basic human rights

I deprived you of

You were not even allowed

To have thoughts

That I disapproved of

The truth that you felt in your hearts

And even in your prayers

I controlled them all!

 

I ordered my troops and militia to do my dirty work;

I manipulated and moulded their minds

With bribes and threats and by evil means

Which only a conniving villain would use!

 

You Shans, Karens and other ethnic races,

Your courage, simplicity and determination

Filled my soul with venomous jealousy,

Poisonous rage and bitterness.

 

I had no freedom,

So I destroyed yours,

I made you live in fear,

In poverty and in despair -

I robbed you of everything you had;

Education, livelihood, home, land,

And country

But worse of all,

Your freedom!

 

Hundreds and thousands I had ordered to be imprisoned,

Tortured, or unlawfully murdered,

All the women and children my soldiers had raped;

The one million poor internally displaced people

Will forever be my great source of remorse!

 

My selfishness and my gluttony for

Opulence and power

Got the better of me

I was nothing but

A black hearted thief and murderer!

 

I had a pitiful life that was worthless

All the money without the riches  

Of the heart and mind

Was completely pointless!

 

In my shameful life

There was no one whom I could trust;

My wife was an ogress, my children greedy,

My generals were scheming

And they were there to grab

Whatever they could from me.

 

Oh, Peoples of Burma!

As I lay here dying,

I beg for your forgiveness,

For it has dawned on me that

You are not my enemies at all,

But peaceful and good Citizens of this Earth,

And that my worst enemy was myself!

 

Had I the wisdom, awareness and sense

To have realized that when I had the chance

I would have done all I could within my power

To do the best I could

For your welfare and the betterment

Of this great nation!

 

But now it is far too late,

Oh, this is my great remorse!

 

Feraya